I decided that the Datist needed to start out this new year with a bang...Uh no, not that kind of "bang!" Get your minds out of the gutter guys, seriously! I was feeling ambitious, maybe a little too ambitious, men started coming out of the wood work left and right. I started to feel like I was suddenly a participant in a dodge ball game, getting pegged with prospects from every direction. I find myself now dodging more and more men in waiting, not wanting to play the game as much as I used to. If I wasn't already, I've become more finicky about who I go on a date with now, more than usual.
I keep forgetting to mention it, I don't know exactly how it became so, but Connor and I are now FRIENDS. Not just friends, GOOD friends! We've been meeting up for occasional dinners, laughing, telling jokes, and no dating pressure! Connor, who I had pegged the "Island of many returns," has a serious girlfriend now, and I have to say I am truly so happy for him. I know what you all are thinking: How can I not be jealous? How can I go on and pretend we weren't involved?? Well I'll tell you, I don't know whether it's because I'm growing wiser in old age, (I'll be 30 this month), or that I'm just able to let things go easier. Being "Zen-y" seems to suit me well, I'm just perfectly at peace with it. Besides, you all know I HATE dwelling in the past, so I'm gonna go ahead and enjoy my new friendship! We went out to dinner last night, I had a pressing matter to discuss, I needed guidance on how to get my dating life in 2011 on to a good start. (Did I mention Connor gives amazing dating advice?)
Connor listens intently, as I tell him about a few of the dates I have lined up already for this month. Talking to Connor, I start listening to my own tone, having a realization for my own body language, he knows I'm dreading the newest prospects. "You don't have to go on all these dates, you know?" He says to me. "Uh, yeah I do, I'm on a mission for my dating blog." Yes, Connor now is officially the second male I've dated that knows about my blog and that I've blogged about him. Due to my some of my latest escapades including my play time in Orlando, I sense Connor's worried about my relationship well being. I assure him it'll all be fine, I'm the dating vet, the dating guru, I'm The Datist for God's sake! Yet I know my dating feels like a chore at times, finding myself trying to collect any scrap or tidbit for my blog when I can.
My first date of the new year is named Dash, an ex-marine, 28 years old, in college for his bachelors, and also a father to a 2 year old son. Dash is pleasant to look at, 5"11, light brown hair, very light piercing blue eyes, a baby face, I have to sum him up as "cute." We decide to go to Memphis for dinner, if I haven't mentioned this before, this place is definitely a must for a date! It's quite cozy with a southern tinge to it, and serves fried spinach you'll wanna take home and learn how to make yourself.
Dash is from Philadelphia, grew up in a Catholic family with 3 brothers and 2 sisters. He's not religious anymore so he empathizes with my childhood, as it is quite similar to his. He has a little Midwest charm going for him as well, I like how he pulls my chair out for me. Dash is what I would call the strong silent type, the kind of man my father thinks I need to be with. I'm liking Dash, but something does hold me back, knowing in the back of my mind he has a 2 year old son. Yes, I know I'm a behavioral therapist and a swim coach, kids are indeed my life and livelyhood. I do believe that I'd like to have one myself one day, but something freaks me out about having someone else's kid in my life. I try to shake it off, but we are definitely right on target for topic, because his son is now the bullseye. I suddenly find myself playing "Super Nanny," as Dash tells me how he has a hard time disciplining his 2 year old. His ex-girlfriend seems to have a different set of guidelines of how to raise this little boy. I go into therapist mode, giving Dash solutions to every problem he seeks, I know I'm not a parent, but hey I was giving some splendid advice!
PROBLEM: The 2 year was continuously opening the fridge, pulling things out without asking.
SOLUTION: Get a child lock for the fridge!
PROBLEM: The 2 year old wasn't listening, and doing as he pleases in the house.
SOLUTION: Give him a time out, "Super Nanny" style!
It went on like this for a while, Dash was so impressed that I knew so much about kids. Hell, I was impressed, especially since I think I'd make a horrible parent! I think I'm just good at disciplining, after all I do make a surprisingly mean swim coach. I know my unexperienced parental advice would have made "Super Nanny" very proud. This show is the equivalent of a hot fudge sundae to me, a real guilty pleasure! Listen, some people really love "trashy" Jersey Shore, which I can proudly say I have never tuned into. I, on the other hand am perfectly content with Nanny Jo, whom I believe to be the true love child of Hitler and Mary Poppins!
The date ended after an hour and a half, and Dash as his gentleman self walks me to my car. I hug him good bye, but he has different intentions as he suddenly pulls me towards him, puts his lips on mine. It's not that he's a bad kisser, on the contrary he's rather good! I just don't feel anything, no excitement, no butterflies, absolutely nothing! Am I numb?? Have I desensitized? Here's a good guy, has his act together, not bad looking, and I'm just not into it.
Maybe I was just caught off guard, or maybe I just couldn't feel any chemistry? Perhaps that "Kiss Me" sign once again has found its way back to it's happy place, on my back. For whatever the reason I just don't feel like getting up for a second helping of Dash in my new New Year.
Happy Datist New year to everyone! May you have many successes in your dating life this year! If not, may you find yourself in many different beds this year! As for those who have found what you're looking for already, may it last for many many years to come!
“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”
~Oprah Winfrey
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