Oh the red flags, we're always looking for at least one or two when a new dating prospect comes into our lives. At first they may show up in small packages, maybe he isn't the happiest person in the world, or perhaps he is quite frugal when it comes to finances. Red flags can be different for each individual as some of us might have more patience for certain flaws they may find. Only what happens when the flags you see are HUGE, waving so high in the air, you wonder how on earth you could have missed them?
Rich seems so interestingly quirky when we meet at the Gypsy. I don't mind quirky, I afterall have many different quirks myself. He has an interesting sense of humor, seems very smart, likes to ride his motorcycle, has a few tattoos, and actually Jewish. He's pretty good looking, high cheek bones, mysterious blue eyes, wild dark brown hair, and a nice smile. He's 34, has a good job as a computer tech, and from I can tell he seems to have his act together.
Our date is a pleasant one, we talk about our lives, what we do, how we grew up. Rich has a somewhat interesting life, as he was a adopted and was raised by a wonderful Jewish family in New York.
Our date goes nicely and I feel very comfortable with Rich. Rich mentions that he had moved out here because his 19 year old girlfriend had persuaded him to. I need to put the pause button on for a few seconds. Rich only moved out here last March and is almost 35. A 19 year old girlfriend?? Really? I decide to inquire as to why their relationship ended, as he tells me she had fallen in love with a fellow employee at the starbucks she was working at. Well of course she did, she's 19! I make the decision to not share my thoughts as the red flag has started to rise right before me.
Despite this red flag that has me on the look out for more, I decide to see Rich again for a second date. Rich suggests we go to an improv show in Los Angeles. I don't particularly enjoy dates in LA, specifically since we have the improv in Irvine, and Rich lives 5 minutes from it. I am agreeable despite my feelings, as long as I'm not driving. I've started noticing that I spend more time on the road than actually working.
I get to Rich's place all ready to go, as Rich mentions I'm doing the driving. "I'm confused," I say, "Do you not have a car?". Rich points to his motorcycle, his only mode of transportation apparently, which I'm just finding out now. I feel kind of awkward telling Rich I'm not comfortable driving to LA so late as I just came from work in Torrance.( 40 minutes aways up North)
Rich acts understanding, but in my mind a new red flag has been found in the form of "miscommunication." We stay in, decide to hang out and chat in his non-furnished apartment, we actually are sitting on the floor.
Rich now takes the time to share an abundance of information, and as you can imagine an abundance of red flags as well.
LIST OF RICH'S RED FLAGS
1. Last girlfriend was actually an escort.
2. He supported it.
3. He was a "swinger" with her, and believes this to be healthy, since we as humans aren't meant to be monogamous.
4. The girl he dated before had decided to slit her wrists and he decided it would be a good idea to ask her to marry him after only knowing her for a month. In other words, he is very impulsive.
5. His tattoos are of snakes and naked ladies, I'm just not feeling them.
I may not be an expert when it comes to dating, but being a swinger to heighten my sex life with my soul mate? Maybe I just need a new soul mate! These warning signs seem to be in red alert form, showing yellow signs of "Road Hazards" ahead. I feel the Datist could easily get into a serious accident with signs like these on the road trip. I think I'll just avoid these roads all together, save myself from a needless car crash of heart ache. Rich and I both leave our date the two of us as stalemates. I may not always know exactly what I want in a man, but I definitely know what I don't want! Rich isn't a bad guy, he just isn't the one for me.
"One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning."
~James Russell Lowell
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